Ever since the accident happened, I felt like I lost everything and I still do. The scars made me feel ugly. The way my body is weak and hurt made me feel like I have control or power over it anymore. My once very healthy body is now restriced and not able to do the things I used  to do. 

The phobia I have when I ride in cars makes me feel stupid and weak. I am constantly hating myself for being scared of the things that were a part of my daily routine. I can't even sit at the passenger side without squirming. 

I am in this constant battle of guilt and pain and it is slowly driving me insane. When I look at myself in the mirror, all I see is a scarred, broken girl and think about how is he able to love me because I am a different girl than the one he fell for when we first met. I am expecting him to realize how broken I am and walk away to find someone who is whole.