Salam sayang. Its been a month and I still couldn't talk about you to other people. I don't know wether its too hard or I am just still too scared to admit that it really happened.

I miss you so much. Everyday, I still expect to be woken up by the sounds of the bells on your ankle bracelet. I expect you to knock on my door and complain that you are hungry and we would just go to the nearest KFC or order some Dominos. I expect to see you every week infront of the tv watching some hindustani movie where you know all the songs and you start singing along and dancing to the music. I expect that you will my leg and hug it just because you see something sweet on the tv show.

Day by day, its harder to wake up knowing that bit by bit, I have to accept the reality that you are not here anymore. You are not with us anymore. I know I am the least qualified person to say that I am deeply saddened that you left us too soon. If me as a friend can feel so much hurt with the fact that you are gone, I can only begin to imagine what your family and boyfriend are going through.

I still remember the day I first met you and how suddenly we were inseparable. You were with me most of the time and I loved you like the baby sister I never had. I remember your laughter, the idiotic things you used to send on whatsapp and mostly, the stupid games that you forced me to play and I ended up loving. Those little things somehow keeps you alive in my heart.

Just so you know, you are one of those people. The kind where its so easy to love you. And how your presence brighten up a place. You bring joy and laughter everywhere you went and not once you complain about the bad things that people do to you. Yeah, you are just one of those beautiful souls and its a shame that the world is now quite empty without you. People keep telling me that I have to move on but I don't know if I can leave you in the past. I don't know if I can carry you with me but leave the bad memory behind. I guess I am still learning to do that and I hope one day, I'll succeed.

Okay, I'll write to you again soon. Alfatihah sayang.

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