Its weird how people go day by day but I feel like somehow, my world has been turned upside down. I look around and nothing is the same. Not anymore, to me anyways. The things I used to love seems so, normal now. The feelings that I used to have doesn't seem so powerful anymore. 

When I watched movies back then, and there will be this person who went through a horrible tragedy and ended up pushing everyone away, I would always complain about how stupid that person is. I mean, you need support after a tragedy right? 

Now that it happened to me, I understand. I, myself has started pushing   everyone away. Not because I don't need them. Its because I don't want to drag them in my pain and sadness. I don't want to disappoint them when I am not as okay as they want me to be. It seems cruel and stupid but somehow, something inside of me says that its better for me to be alone than disappoint and hurt those around me.